As bad as Babylon AD can get
Posted in Films and Popcorn on Sep 28th, 2008
Can films be euthanised? That thought was dominating my mind while I try to keep myself stuck into the upholstery, even as Babylon AD tried to murder my common sense with its generally plotless, illogical exposition. Leonard had stomped off within the first half-an-hour, and my solace was in the common suffering we fellow movie-goers shared within the cinema hall.

So, what was I doing there? The Singapore Polytechnic University Alumni organised a movie screening at Golden Village, Plaza Singapura on 12 September 2008. Thanks to the school’s support, tickets for the movie were going for $6, instead of $14. That included popcorn and drink, so it was a great bargain from a poor student’s perspective.
Now, after holding a subsidised ticket, it would normally be an eternal sin to condemn the choice of movie by the organising committee (in asia), but I’m sure that the organisers couldn’t have had access to the movie review when they booked the venue months ago (and thus not their fault), so I’ll re-state my conclusion with categorical condemnation: the movie was a pain to watch!
The film starts in an unknown location in Russia, where Vin Diesel lives. We don’t know why, we don’t know when, and we don’t know how. He sits down for a good meal when some guy (whom we don’t know) storms his rickety apartment along with a group of Russian mafia, pointing his rifle at the back of our protagonist’s head. The latter flips out and kills the former, and is then calmly escorted by the bunch of Russian gangsters onto a vehicle, where he is offered a handsome cash reward for smuggling a young girl into America.
Confused yet?
Babylon AD shoves plot advancement after another, yet doesn’t stop to explain why things turn out the way they are. We see a girl with apparent psychic powers being able to predict a bomb explosion a few moments before it happens, then we are told that the girl’s powers of premonition came about because of a deadly virus that could destroy the world. That premise would never be explored, nor this plot developed later on.
I’d say more, but doing so would have been futile, because there’s absolutely no way to link the vast disparate sub-plots into a cohesive, sensible whole. On 2nd thoughts, I might have recommended that viewers watch this movie on merit of its graphic effects, but the age of prevalent Computer Generated graphics has meant that countless other movies (way better than this one, I must add) would have been more worthy of the discerning viewer’s patronage.
Stay. Away. Full. Stop.
